I have found this past span of a year, the most difficult year of my life, to say the least. I have the new joy of being married to an incredible man; a man that is constantly taken away from me. Sometimes I am so overjoyed that I begin to cry and praise God for all of the love that He has filled my life with. When this happens, it is usually followed by days of depression in which I haven’t seen or spoken to my husband due to his job’s incredibly punishing hours. I have duties as a wife that seem almost too stressful to bear on my own, and then I realize that I’m forgetting the person who is fighting and working strenuously day-in and day-out for me to be able to have those duties, and when I realize that, a new realization comes to my heart: God has given me all of this, and I “sometimes” weep and praise how Glorious He/His love is for me and my husband. How selfish am I? How selfish I was in those times where I asked Him why He could let my husband and I become so disconnected by this world. He has more of a right to ask ME why I let that happen. I have become so diluted by my daily life, thinking only about the future, scheduling routines, and having expectations that cannot be fulfilled by human beings.
I have a feeling of pure happiness in my heart right now at 2:15 a.m.
My husband will be home in the morning, I will wake up and be overjoyed that I can go back to sleep and dream next to him all day long. I’ll kiss him and be reminded that this is home.